Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[Auto Hub India]

TAINZ,
Everyday we come to TAI,give our valuable inputs, learn new and exciting things about Automobile World.

Let us have something different here, let us laugh,gaggle whole heartedly, forgetting everything else,our tensions,worries etc..and make ourselves happy and calm and get refreshed for the rest of the day.

MANDATORY RULE:-

Adult jokes should not be posted here.Please remember this thread is created for making ourselves calm and free ourselves from tensions and stress.
MODS:- Please delete any adult jokes which contradicts the fair decorum of TAI.

So TAINZ, all of you contribute,FUNNY VIDEOS can also be posted(keeping all TAI rules intact), but please dont give any views and comments on this thread,as it will discontinue the rythm and fun which its readers will feel by reading it.

Lets Start.ALL OF YOU JOIN IN.

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NOTE: Let us limit this thread to jokes only. Funny photographs whether auto or non-auto related should be posted in one of the following threads. Furthermore, offensive jokes or comments will not be tolerated in the forum. Please adhere to the forum protocol and remember to include a translation in case a joke is in a language other than English.

> http://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/members-lounge/957-funny-automotive-pics.html

> http://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/members-lounge/59-wierd-funny-non-automotive-pics.html
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[vijay]

let me be the first to start

1)There was a middle-aged guy who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and he enjoyed the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought, and floored it some more. He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man, and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 120-mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing," and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said looking at his watch, "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding, that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back." The State Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

2)A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, 'Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.' The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, 'I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you.' Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels. She says, 'I want the house.' Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, 'I want the kids too.' The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph. She says, 'I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too.' The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, 'Is there anything you want?' The husband says, 'No, I've got everything I need right here.' She asks, 'What's that?'

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, 'I've got the airbag!'

3)A mechanic was removing cylinder heads from a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor, please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively. "So doctor, look at this, I also open hearts, take valves out, grind'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?" The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it when the engine is running."

 

[Zinam]

Hey Great jokes vijay!

I really like the 1st & 3rd ones! Its simply awesome.

 

[vijay]

glad you liked it buddy, here's another one.Sorry nothing personal to any IT people here.

One politician, One thief & One Programmer died & went straight
to hell.
Politician said "I miss my country, I want to call
my country and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked
"Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Thief was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna
call the my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says "Ten million dollars"

With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit
back on his chair.

Programmer was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call other IT person too,
He called other IT person and he talked for twenty hours about various technologies and Project Managers, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Twenty dollars".
Programmer is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"
The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell
to another hell, it's local".

 

[Zinam]

He He!!

I agree :)

Nothing seems offensive here!!

 

[Arun]

[YT]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uujuL9KZeBA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uujuL9KZeBA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YT]


Die laughing!

 

[Akash]

@vijay- Great ones buddy.

 

[vroom]

lolz.. hilarious..

Vroom

 

[sriharsha]

arun, i just fell off from the chair . what that guy is telling? "karachi se log an$#*%d*&% jaa rahe hey." sorry i can't.

 

[Arun]

Here is another cartoon. DANCING!!

[YT]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sotm1QDsuV0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sotm1QDsuV0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YT]

He can put any dancer to shame.
Super smooth moves

 

[ilango[speed thirst]]

nice man. really it was so good esp the it one

 

[vijay]

Here is another cartoon. DANCING!!
He can put any dancer to shame.
Super smooth moves

ha ha ha ha ha man thats hillarious.How can one even think to shoot this man.

 

[sriharsha]

WOW! what a dance

 

[vijay]

Why newton committed suicide

Why Newton commited suicide



Here is the reason.
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he
is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess, what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards
the knife. The knife cuts the bullet i! nto 2 pieces, which kills both
th e gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the
middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your
remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,
Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches
the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang...
the gangster dies...
The 'climax' f! inally arrives.
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a
very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries
like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.
Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the
climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two gu ns from his pockets. He throws one gun
in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall,
he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in
air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide...
Well I ! guess Newton couldn't have done anything worse after seeing
these scenes.

 

[Arun]

Here is a stupid PJ. Don't kill me for this. Got it through sms.

What is the age of Ranbir Kapoor in the movie Ajab prem ki ghazab kahani?

12.

Because he sings Tera hone laga hoon




For those who don't know, Tera is thirteen in Hindi.