Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[dicor]

Great Khali went to Hyundai Showroom

Salesman - Sir yeh dekhiye Hyundai Verna
Khali - Verna kya bho#^%#^#%ke

------------------
Translation
(Believe me joke is going to loose it's charm after translation)

In Hindi "varna" means "otherwise". Mostly used to warn about consequences

Great Khali went to Hyundai Showroom
Salesman - Sir have a look Hyundai Verna.
Khali - Verna what you #^%#^#%

 

[dicor]

A Pakistani rancher was visiting a farmer in India. The proud Indian farmer showed him around. "Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and pumpkin. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse," the farmer said.

The land was tiny, and the Pakistani was surprised by its small size. "Is this all your land?" he asked.

"Yes," the Indian said proudly. "This is all mine!"

"You mean this is it? This is all of it?" the Pakistani said incredulously.

"Yes, yes, this is really all mine!"

"Well, bro," said the Pakistani, "back home I'd get in my car before the sun'd come up and I'd drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I'd only be halfway across my land!"

"Oh, yes," replied the Indian farmer wistfully, "I used to have a car like that."

 

[Tornado]

Funniest thing I've read in a while:

Dear government,

Please take our income,
And
Pay us the tax..

 

[Tornado]

Venue : footwear shop.

Salesman : Mam, I showed all the sandals in the shop, not a single pair is left behind.

Lady : What's that in the box on that table?

Salesman : Please forgive me, mam, that's my lunch box.

 

[GrandRk]

Beat this,

Can i call you back later please? My wife is driving !!

 

[Akash1886]

Beat this,
Can i call you back later please? My wife is driving !!

I am sure our FD (Furious Driver) can surely beat this as he loves to be taken for a ride in his car by Mrs. FD.

BTW, did your better half see this post RK?

Regards

Akash

 

[furious_driver]

I am sure our FD (Furious Driver) can surely beat this as he loves to be taken for a ride in his car by Mrs. FD.

BTW, did your better half see this post RK?

She doesn't like to visit this useless car related discussion sites. For her, it's a waste of time.(Like TV serials are real eye openers)

 

[GrandRk]

BTW, did your better half see this post RK?

She does not drive hence can't understand this joke as well . She likes to sit in navigator place and keep telling me what was on her left side when it is already passed.

 

[vijay_968]

She doesn't like to visit this useless car related discussion sites. For her, it's a waste of time.(Like TV serials are real eye openers)

PRACTICAL JOKE - I HAVE BECOME THE VICTIM

I'd like to add to your lines "For her, it's a waste of time.(Like TV serials are real eye openers)" and Vijay TV's Big Boss is the most important event in TN.

Since Tamil Mahabharat (2nd run got completed months ago), we hardly watch Vijay TV. Some relative called my Hi Command 10 days ago and they talked for nearly an hour. After that, she got onto YouTube and saw some videos. Then she called few more relatives and they all spoke till the phone became hot. I thought it was passing clouds.

But, from next day onwards,THAT reality TV show is on the menu at my home. I am forced to sit beside my Hi Command and listen to her expert opinions and comments, as the scenes unfold. I have to support whoever she supports and condemn her choices. This is the easiest part. But, but but but, NOT saying "Huh hum", "correct", "yeah, it is bad" etc or sleeping through the show had resulted in Uppuma for next day breakfast

 

[furious_driver]

PRACTICAL JOKE - I HAVE BECOME THE VICTIM

I'd like to add to your lines "For her, it's a waste of time.(Like TV serials are real eye openers)" and Vijay TV's Big Boss is the most important event in TN.

Since Tamil Mahabharat (2nd run got completed months ago), we hardly watch Vijay TV. Some relative called my Hi Command 10 days ago and they talked for nearly an hour. After that, she got onto YouTube and saw some videos. Then she called few more relatives and they all spoke till the phone became hot. I thought it was passing clouds.

But, from next day onwards,THAT reality TV show is on the menu at my home. I am forced to sit beside my Hi Command and listen to her expert opinions and comments, as the scenes unfold. I have to support whoever she supports and condemn her choices. This is the easiest part. But, but but but, NOT saying "Huh hum", "correct", "yeah, it is bad" etc or sleeping through the show had resulted in Uppuma for next day breakfast

I can understand your pain bro! Big Boss becomes an instant hit and gained popularity like a dead gorilla(Harambe!?). But luckily, when the TV show started I clearly informed my wife that, if she watches Big Boss, then I will play Counter Strike. That too till midnight. She went berserk and we had a fight for a couple of days, but eventually, she understands that I'm not going to let it go and so, she stopped watching Big Boss!

And this little trick worked out because she hates when I play games, especially during weekdays. Weekends she doesn't bother about it. My mom and wife cursed me for not letting them watch Big Boss, but I'd eat Upma every day rather than let them watch that Piece of $h1t.

 

[Akash1886]

In the respect of His Excellency, Married Yet Bachelor @ Heart, FD!

A nagging girlfriend is better than a nagging wife. Why?

In the wise words of His Highness, Married Yet Eyeing PYT(s), FD: "There is always an option of upgrade to a better variant with a girlfriend"!

Regards

Akash

 

[furious_driver]

In the respect of His Excellency, Married Yet Bachelor @ Heart, FD!

A nagging girlfriend is better than a nagging wife. Why?

In the wise words of His Highness, Married Yet Eyeing PYT(s), FD: "There is always an option of upgrade to a better variant with a girlfriend"!

Regards

Akash

So when did you say you are getting married?

 

[Akash1886]

So when did you say you are getting married?

Well a proper invite shall be shared.

Regards

Akash

 

[furious_driver]

Well a proper invite shall be shared.

You better book a first class flight, because I seriously want to show all these posts to your wife.

 

[Akash1886]

You better book a first class flight

For your family and kids surely the best travel arrangements will be there. For you specifically, 3 tier waiting ticket of any train to Delhi that starts at midnight from your place.

I seriously want to show all these posts to your wife.

Before that, survive my bachelor's party. A lifetime unforgettable experience only for Forever Desperate guys like you. After that night, we'll see, who shows what to whom.

Regards

Akash