How To Handle Jealous Relatives?


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Thread Starter #1
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Well this is a sensitive topic but sometimes we have a few jealous relatives

They are always waiting to catch my misery...
And trying to pretend to be kind and nice..

They want the worst to happen to us but still on face talk sweet [frustration]

How to tackle such person i.e- COUSIN [anger]
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

bless them and let go because we can't control their attitude or mind but we surely can control our attitude . Btw how you know for sure they are jealous ?
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Earlier i used to have a slight feeling in my childhood but ignored it.

Actually my mom and dad are both govt officials and we have a good house and car and comfortable lifestyle from beginning. On top of that i think i am decent looking too.

My cousin was not well off as only his father used to work. So they dint have facilities like car, ac , big house etc. Now he was very intelligent and became a ranker and got a great job and earning very very well. He has visited many countries.

The problem is now his attitude toward me has changed a lot. I was not that intelligent and doing very average in my career. But now whenever he comes to delhi he always comments like- WHERE I HAVE GONE FOR VACATIONS etc etc though he knows i have not. Its just that he is in MNC he can do this and now since he is in better position he is pulling me down and even her wife supports him.

I never had such feeling about him but now i have realized his true colours. Its a pain talking to him now in family functions.

Don'tknow how to tackle this as i am very short tempered i am worried someday a fight may not break out [anger]

Right now i am going through a very difficult phase in my career and i can see the happiness on their faces
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

learn to ignore.the more you think about him , the more your giving him importance while he deserves none. life is a learning curve. ups and down are a part of it.

think positive AND dont let negative feelings over come you . and as i said, learn to ignore.
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Dear Vaibhav

It is not simple jealousy , it is mixed with superiority complex.
You cannot avoid social meetings , try to ignore him.
Whenever he try to start one topic -- bye pass it and divert it to another topic which is totally different like cricket , olympics etc .

Best of luck.
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Vaibhav my friend it is same everywhere. Just try to ignore what they say and don't think much about them. More you think about them, more you are giving those things priority in your life.
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

ignore man, this happens everywhere even in friend circle. Let him enjoy his success and don't get bothered by his words.The parameter to be happy is not only working in big MNC and travelling worldwide, if you are happily living with family that's all it matter at the end of day. Money and success is important to live a luxarious life but it's not sole criteria for a happy life.
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Hi All
yah i always say to him that Delhi is the best place in the world as my parents are here [:)]. And the only place better than Delhi is HEAVEN and i will go there for sure but there is some time left for it.
But even his wife sometimes taunts choosing good words regarding my job and salary as his salary above 70 lacs and mine only 3-4 lacs.On top her wife is pretty and his behavior really changed from his marriage day itself.
His job and beautiful wife has made him arrogant and madman. But yeah i hardly talk to him now and i think even he has realised i am ignoring him. I dint even go to last 2 function held by him regarding his baby making some excuses. [anger]
I will show him he is a big man only in his office , IN MY LIFE he doesnt even exist.
But my mausi and mausaji also dont behave well and seem arrogant about their son [cry]

@ dharmesh i agree . He was i feel jealous of our lifestyle . But he dint say anything as he was low. But now as soon as he became big he showed his real colours. Pathetic man this same person used to come to our house and play video games. They dint have a car so many times we took them in our car to various family functions. I am really dissapointed with his behaviour
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Vaibhav this for you .

How to Deal With a Jealous Person
Whether you’re dealing with a jealous acquaintance, relative, friend, mate or even a stranger, here’s some step-by-step advice on how to respond. Also some tips to help you if you are feeling jealous as well.
Steps
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand the reasons behind his or her feelings. Jealousy often stems from insecurity or a sense of deep loss.
Offer encouragement and praise when something goes right for your friend, but whatever you do, don’t hide your happiness for what is going right in your life. A true friend supports at all times and should be happy for your accomplishments.
Try to help the other person get what they are wishing to have. Give them helpful advice and suggestions.
Try not to say things that would make the person jealous. Don’t have any big upset reaction to their jealousy because sometimes it feeds it. Stay calm and look them in the eye.
Look before you get involved with a very jealous person in a romantic relationship. If it is uncomfortable in any way-get out of the relationship at once. There are signs to watch for and it can be a big problem for you in the future. If they don’t want you to have other friends-be careful. It is healthy and necessary for people to make friends, be comfortable around other people and make decisions based on your feelings or your judgement.
Realize that jealousy can be the root of many evil behaviors/ painful thoughts and even ruin a person. Everyone can feel jealous once in awhile but if it is always present and bothering you should seek help immediately. If you feel like you are doing strange, out of character things: spying, going through a person’s things, waiting in your car at their work,etc. than you might be in the state of “romantic jealousy”. It can be agony and you need to talk to someone about your problem.
Listen to the little voice inside of you. If it tells you to avoid, be afraid or scared of a person-listen to it.
Tips
You might be a fun, beautiful, gregarious person that people are jealous of. Too bad. Let them. You won’t serve yourself any better by catering to their hate.
When someone is envious of you, it means that you have something they want. If you want to help them and they seem nice and worth the effort, offer to tell them where you got that shirt or those shoes. Tell them how you stay positive.
Empowering them is a good way to diffuse their jealousy, but only do this for those people you feel are worthy of your time and energy. Ignore the others.
Their jealousy is a mask for insecurity. Once you recognize there’s nothing behind the veneer, you’ll be fine.
You have the right as a person to be in a stable healthy relationships. Choose to do so
Warnings
Jealous people will try to bring you down to their level. Don’t let them. You don’t have to be in a abusive relationship with anyone!
If your mate is always jealous for no reason, accusing you of false affairs or activities, than you may be in trouble. Extreme jealousy can lead to very dangerous behavior. If you are not sure if your mate or date is mentally stable-be very careful. Stay safe and protect yourself. Don’t make fun of them just reassure them that you care about them. Consider getting out of the relationship slowly and over time.
Someone acting jealous does not mean they care about you. It means they have self esteem problems or can not except the end of the relationship.
If you feel extreme jealousy and want to hurt the person or their belongings. Stop! Understand that your pain will stop over time and you will deeply regret any violence you have done. You need to reach out and talk to someone even if it is embarrassing. The person that you will feel jealous over has changed or moved on with their life. Ask yourself why? Try to “vent” out your strong feelings in writing as well just don’t take actions towards the person.
You have the right to end any conversation with a person who puts you down or is nasty in anyway.
Top 5 Signs His Jealousy Is Out of Control
By: Dr. Jane Greer, PhD
Do you ever ask yourself, “Am I dealing with a jealous partner?” Is his (or her) jealousy reasonable? Is it rational or is it irrational?
If you think your someone is jealous, the first thing to do is to reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. Take his feelings seriously, but at the same time make sure you preserve space to do your own thing.
If he persists on trying to limit your life and the activities you share with other people to the point where you are feeling controlled by him, then it is time to reach out and talk to a counselor to help you learn how to set limits and put controls in place for yourself… so that you hold on to what’s important to you and don’t start giving things up out of fear of his jealousy or to placate him.

Source -http://www.famfi.org/blog-2/relationship-saver/how-to-deal-with-a-jealous-person/
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Raja dear- i have read many article on tis topic including this one already [;)]
But these articles confuse me more and more.

Thats why i asking your personal opinions as to go about it. I dont feel like talking to him anymore as now i have seen his true face. He is my biggest ILL-wisher [cry]
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Vaibhav whatever strategy you are using is fine and great with your cousin . Beside that understand that anybody who boast about anything are actually empty within and even if they show themselves superior in reality they are not . Reading your story it seems your cousin is asking attention and appreciation for what he is now if you think he has worker hard to be where he is sincerely appreciate him for his effort over and above if he still behaves arrogantly with you bless him ,ignore and letgo I think you have so many other things to attend in your life right .? Oh and btw which phone have decided ? And did you wax your beautiful dezire ?
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

Dear All

All of you please share such instances in your life and how you dealth with or still dealing ...

ps: moderators please change title of thread to - HOW TO DEAL WITH JEALOUS AND SNOBBISH RELATIVES
 
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Re: How to handle jealous relatives ?

All you have to do is irritate him. Find out what he does not like. Start discussing only those topics.
 
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