How To Say "No" To Your Good Friends?

[D.J.D.]

Hi all,

Again same situation has come. Not exactly same, but this time my family friend has asked my car for one day trip with his family members. I know it is insane. When he called me today and told about his plan, initially i was dumb stuck. i was thinking what to say, coz he is a very good friend of mine and he helped me a lot. Today some how i managed and told him that i will think and inform later. One thing is clear that i cant give my car . Also i cant tell him that i want my car for my office commute coz that day is holiday.

I am really tensed now.

Friends plzz offer your comments

[saroya]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

Hi all,

Again same situation has come. Not exactly same, but this time my family friend has asked my car for one day trip with his family members. I know it is insane. When he called me today and told about his plan, initially i was dumb stuck. i was thinking what to say, coz he is a very good friend of mine and he helped me a lot. Today some how i managed and told him that i will think and inform later. One thing is clear that i cant give my car . Also i cant tell him that i want my car for my office commute coz that day is holiday.

I am really tensed now.

Friends plzz offer your comments

If you gave them this time, they will expect the same in future from you. I have lost my two friends after refusing to give them my car. But happy with my decision. It's no use crying over spilt milk

[D.J.D.]

Originally Posted by saroya

If you gave them this time, they will expect the same in future from you. I have lost my two friends after refusing to give them my car. But happy with my decision. It's no use crying over spilt milk

you are right mate. I am not gonna give my car.

[anshuman8]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

Hi all,

Also i cant tell him that i want my car for my office commute coz that day is holiday.

I am really tensed now.

Friends plzz offer your comments

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

you are right mate. I am not gonna give my car.

Tell him some other urgent work has come upon, so you cant spare your vehicle.

[Rightnow]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

Hi all,

Again same situation has come. Not exactly same, but this time my family friend has asked my car for one day trip with his family members. I know it is insane. When he called me today and told about his plan, initially i was dumb stuck. i was thinking what to say, coz he is a very good friend of mine and he helped me a lot. Today some how i managed and told him that i will think and inform later. One thing is clear that i cant give my car . Also i cant tell him that i want my car for my office commute coz that day is holiday.

I am really tensed now.

Friends plzz offer your comments

You said he had helped you a lot, would you still not give him your car?

[D.J.D.]

Originally Posted by anshuman8

Tell him some other urgent work has come upon, so you cant spare your vehicle.

yes thats what i told him. now it seems to be ok.

Originally Posted by Rightnow

You said he had helped you a lot, would you still not give him your car?

i am ready to give anything he wants but not my car. its not about money or cost of the car. its all about my love for my car. i know for most of the people it is a piece of metal. for me it is a member of my small family

[Rightnow]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

yes thats what i told him. now it seems to be ok.
i am ready to give anything he wants but not my car. its not about money or cost of the car. its all about my love for my car. i know for most of the people it is a piece of metal. for me it is a member of my small family

And love for one's car takes him to a level of ignoring friends, telling them lies, forgetting past ties. I am sorry at least I don't endorse such obsession.

Anyways, your personal decision, but I hope your beloved machine would be of some help to your friends in times of emergency.

[D.J.D.]

Originally Posted by Rightnow

And love for one's car takes him to a level of ignoring friends, telling them lies, forgetting past ties. I am sorry at least I don't endorse such obsession.

Anyways, your personal decision, but I hope your beloved machine would be of some help to your friends in times of emergency.

no need to say sorry mate. That's your personal opinion. See, I am ready to take him and his family in my car. wherever he wants to go. No issue at all. But it will be very very difficult for me to let him drive my car for a long trip while i am not in the car.

[Rightnow]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

no need to say sorry mate. That's your personal opinion.

Hehe. I don't feel sorry at all man. It was just a way of disagreeing with you.

Do others also feel that not lending our car to our friends is a trait of being a petrolhead or auto enthusiast or whatever we call ourselves?

[MSN1]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

no need to say sorry mate. That's your personal opinion. See, I am ready to take him and his family in my car. wherever he wants to go. No issue at all. But it will be very very difficult for me to let him drive my car for a long trip while i am not in the car.

Appreciate and like the way you love your car, i was in similar sittuation 3 years back, where as my friend wants to drop his pregnant wife to her native on my figo as he feels his alto is not good / comfortable to go for 350 kms, i told him " am not Comfortable to let someone drive my beloved car, and its not good for your wife and yet to be born kid to travel such long distance on car as you know KA and AP road condition, so please take train if required, i will drop you at railway station", initially he didnt agreed but after learning about our conversation his wife said" i have told him already to go by train but he...", now your words made him agreed with me thank you...

[Raja]

Originally Posted by Rightnow

Do others also feel that not lending our car to our friends is a trait of being a petrolhead or auto enthusiast or whatever we call ourselves?

Lending our cars or not to our friends is a very personal choice and I think has nothing to do with being a auto enthusiast or petrol head or also being in sensitive or un friendly .
If one decides not to give his car to his friend I think there is nothing wrong in that .

Only it is morally wrong if one has used the same friends car in past or even using in present but is not ready to give his car to the same friend .

@ D.J.D- have you used the same friends car in the past ? If yes then it is morally wrong to deny your car to him .

If not it's perfectly ok to express your un willingness to him . Incase he has helped you in some other areas of life , you can assure him ( and morally you must ) that you will do whatever you can to help him .

It is better to express your capacities and limitations openly in any relationship for better understanding and long term compatibility and happiness .

[manojodungat]

• I don’t give my car to any stranger
• I don’t give my car to somebody who has poor driving skills/habits, be it my close friend or relative.

Otherwise, your car is nothing against a “true friendship or relationship”.

It’s not that you drove his car, so morally are obliged to lend him your car. Irrespective of whether he owns a car or has lent me his car earlier or not, I would give him my car if he is in a need of it.

[D.J.D.]

Originally Posted by Raja

@ D.J.D- have you used the same friends car in the past ? If yes then it is morally wrong to deny your car to him .

If not it's perfectly ok to express your un willingness to him . Incase he has helped you in some other areas of life , you can assure him ( and morally you must ) that you will do whatever you can to help him .

It is better to express your capacities and limitations openly in any relationship for better understanding and long term compatibility and happiness .

thak you raja for your kind words. I never use other's car. Even if they insist I say no. I will hire a taxi if required

Originally Posted by manojodungat

• I don’t give my car to any stranger
• I don’t give my car to somebody who has poor driving skills/habits, be it my close friend or relative.

.

Actually once i let him drive my car for a short distance. I was sitting at the front passenger seat. But the way he was slipping the clutch it scared me a lot

[saroya]

Originally Posted by D.J.D.

. I never use other's car. Even if they insist I say no. I will hire a taxi if required

That is the best policy . Me too following the same. Never borrow nor lend. Except in emergency.

[VStorme]

Originally Posted by AppU

Just tell them that you have an important meeting at office or you want to visit your relation who is sick.

After escaped from the group, make sure you are not visiting the same place, where your friends going:-P

After escaped from the group, make sure you are not visiting the same place, where your friends going:-P[/QUOTE]