Found these on the internet and thought of sharing it.
1. Wife : Did you have any Girl Friend before marriage ? 2.
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is the meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...
Three FASTEST means of Communication :
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER COMMUNICATION - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE. 3.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette
?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." 4.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away. 5.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. 6.
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!" 7.
A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.